Some Things I know from Street Patrol

K9ChaseSome things I know from street patrol:

I’ve learned at least three ways to disable a GILLIG transit bus.

1203 on a tanker placard means gasoline–much danger.

Blue street reflectors indicate fire hydrants.  Don’t park near them at a structure fire.

When running lights and siren, use the inside or outside lanes at intersections for easier maneuvering.

If you are directing traffic, stand in the debris field in the center of the intersection.  It’s safer.

Your patrol car is like Wonder Woman’s invisible jet–everyone can see what happens inside.

Head wounds bleed profusely and are not necessarily life threatening…but bleeding from the ears is bad.

Your armed suspect may not be where the complainant said he was.  A little situational awareness gets you home for supper.

Fire Rescue will mess up your scene, but their priorities differ from yours.

Setting a really big perimeter for your K9 is better than one too small.  Think containment.

Front sight–repeat as needed.

Always keep an eye out for cover, you never know when you’ll really need it.

If you are a rookie, keep checking the street signs.  Someone may want to know the exact location of your emergency.

Never give a citizen The Countdown. “You must leave in 5, 4, 3, …2, (Oh, shit, my bluff’s been called.)”

Be prepared for CQB.  Unbeknownst to you, that library book thief just murdered his parents.

If a citizen’s car runs over a fire hose, America’s Heroes will come after you.

Resist the urge to type while driving.  It annoys the sergeant who will be responding to your crash.

If you don’t want to use defensive tactics on that guy who lays block for a living, learn some verbal finesse.

Things will go bad, despite your best efforts.  Do not be surprised.  Fight through it.

Be objective.  The person you feel sorry for will just file an IA complaint.

Your pretend scowl will be less effective than a professional smile.

Make a good decision and then stick with it.

A long gun beats a handgun in a gunfight.  Bring yours.

When in doubt, keep it blacked out.

Each time you re-approach a car or house is like the first–officer safety switched on.

Choose your words as if the Chief was standing there as your backup.  That’ll keep you out of IA.

If you backlight me, I will be pissed.

It is a magazine, not a clip.  Duh.

Be a good zone partner and take your share of the goddamn reports.

Watch my back and I’ll watch yours.

The Media is here.  Refrain from smiling at the murder scene.

When approaching a crime victim, do not lead with, “How’s it going?”  The response will not be pleasant for you.  I’ve witnessed this.

If something goes horribly wrong, call a supervisor.  We are paid the “big bucks” to fix the problem.


(Add your own tidbits in the Comments section!)

This entry was posted in Humor, Street. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Some Things I know from Street Patrol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *