I have spent uncounted hours over the decades, consoling and counseling co-workers with marital troubles. Why did people come to me? Because I am very happily into Year Nine of my third marriage. Although it’s none of your goddamn business, I have unfortunately suffered through some of the worst divorce drama that any of my three different lawyers said they had yet encountered. Yay, I win a prize.
The demands of our work place can induce all manner of strife in our wedded relations. Shift work, Type A attitudes (yes, us), temptations, and general disillusionment with society can drive a wedge between a cop and his or her spouse. Once, I remember looking at our K9 plaque on the wall–the one with all the dog and handlers names–the divorce rate was horrendous, with 90% of the guys having at least one divorce. The winner was five. He said he was a serial monogamist.
Prequel: End one relationship before beginning another. Nothing fuels the rocket of drama faster than allegations of cheating. If you are having marriage problems, see them to a conclusion, then start again. Okay, on to divorce…
Lesson One: Protect yourself. Divorce is a cruel battleground. Your enemy will give you no quarter. This is especially true if kids or substantial assets are involved. Quickly find a good attorney and heed his/her advice. A good attorney? I’d recommend my second ex-wife’s. She clobbered my inept shyster…and me. A divorce is a complicated legal matter for Continue reading →