Category Archives: Humor

Suspect Drowns Detective’s Recorder

The Lakeland Ledger reports that suspect Patrick Townsend was arrested by the Polk County Sheriff’s Office for possession of 32.4 grams of methamphetamine. The drugs were found in Townsend’s boxer shorts following a traffic stop. Townsend bragged to a detective, “Dude, that ain’t shit. I deal in keyes.” The detective recorded Townsend’s incriminating statements on a portable recorder. While handcuffed, Townsend was able to surreptitiously steal the detective’s recorder from a lobby desk. He concealed it under his arm and asked to go to the bathroom…and the device went to its watery grave. Back in the lobby, Townsend asked, “What are you looking for, (detective), your recorder?” After admitting to … Continue reading

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Happy Thanksgiving Day

A bit late, but I didn’t feel like wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving Day until we got all our guys and gals home safe from tonight’s holiday shift. Now I’m thankful. I appreciate the sacrifices made by those who would rather be with loved ones than out wrestling with the less than civil part of our citizenry. I will tip a single malt scotch whisky to the Thin Blue Line shortly. And one to our forgiving families. Randall

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Tampa PD Makes a Music Video

I’m too old to get the reference, but here’s Tampa PD’s video of Call Me Maybe.  Everyone is a good sport, including Chief Castor. Randall

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Armored Food Truck

I’m thinking I’ve got this budget thing licked. Randall

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Shotgun for Home Defense

If you don’t cruise by the GunBlast.com website occasionally, then you are missing out on the folksy GunBlog-stylings of Jeff, Boge, and Greg Quinn.  In this video, on-air talent Jeff, whose double-pony-tailed beard is his trademark, talks about different shotgun rounds and demonstrates birdshot as a viable home defense load in a shotgun. I am a strong proponent of the shotgun as the most devastating close quarter weapon available.  I have a Remington 870, set up with a Speedfeed III stock, Surefire light, and

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Update to the Rookie

A few months ago, I wrote about a rookie cop on our squad who was undergoing the trial-by-fire that can be Midnight Shift. The final four days of his one year probationary period were last week. On the fourth night, he seemed a little overwhelmed. Our business was heavy and the manpower was short. The New Guy went call to call for the whole ten hours and into OT without a break or meal. I ended up on most of his dispatches. Early on, he assisted with arresting the suspect at a bar fight. He came back in service from that to handle a domestic battery in one of our … Continue reading

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Memories and Police Patrol

I hate to be a big buzz kill, but you will not be doing these cool law enforcement things forever.  Just as your equipment gets old and weathered, so will you.  And like your gear, you will be obsolete one day.  Reality check. I am writing these mean words to remind you to enjoy these times of your life.  I was once in my twenties, lean and invincible.  Professionally, I had it all:  Midnight Shift, SWAT, and K9.  I didn’t know how well off I was.  My work days consisted of speeding from one adrenaline rush to the next. It is all a blur now, though.  I’m twice as old … Continue reading

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They Gave My Cruiser a Trespass Warning!

…Updated below… The other night there was a knock at my front door and I saw a guy in plainclothes wearing a badge.  It was a command officer from the small city in which I live (but do not work).  He apologetically told me I could not park a marked police car in my driveway! I recently received a new slicktop CVPI that is striped and lettered.  My old cruiser, old as in a 2001 Crown Vic, was an unmarked unit.  The command officer said my new marked car is a “commercial vehicle” and violates the city code banning the parking of commercial vehicles on residential property.  He said they … Continue reading

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SHOT Show 2012 Coverage

I’ve been in Las Vegas at the 2012 SHOT Show for the last week. I saw the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Black lever-action rifle with picatinny tri-rail, scope, and adjustable stock? Ouch.  It’s like Ralphie’s Red Ryder BB Gun done tactical.  More to come… Randall

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A Rookie Cop on Midnight Shift

Our squad has quite a few officers with less than a year of experience.  Welcome to Midnight Shift. At ReadOff, the other Sergeant and I looked out at a room full of rookies.  At our recent shift change, we inherited a bunch of FNG’s. Nice. They are sharp and eager, but not yet skilled.  For one rookie, it was his very first Midnight Tour. Less than one half hour into his shift, the rookie called out that he was in a foot pursuit!  Upon arriving at a domestic disturbance, he saw the male-half walking away down the street.  The rookie beckoned the man to “Stop Police!”  The suspect ran and … Continue reading

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